Diary of a Frustrated Woman

I recently requested and am now reading this book from the library. I totally love the volume they got me! It has a copyright date of 1931, and still has the original checkout system in the front cover, saying it was first checked out in 1937. The book itself is held together by brown duct tape. The book is in diary form, and is a delightful escape, as well! I mention this because I recently began a new sketchbook, and, because it has larger format pages, I seem to be drifting towards making each page a bit of a journal of my days.

Unfortunately, my days have been quite frustrating. Not, as in the book, because I can’t really afford the perfect gown for a party or the hat I want to wear to compete with the other grand ladies, but because things just seem to be falling apart around me lately. I won’t even mention the country - which I do see in the news to be falling apart around us all of late. But I will mention my Fitbit, which I have come to rely on, and which Murphy, the toothsome puppy, chewed to bits, requiring me to get a new one. And I’ll mention my iPad, which I have come to rely on for many things, which also decided to die on me, losing a lot of passwords, apps, etc permanently in the process.

 

My sketchbook has become a record of my days. Although I’m trying to not dwell on negative things, sometimes the frustration just needs to have its say. Mostly, though, I’m recording things and people I see that catch my interest. And the world has turned to Spring here, so there is a lot of beauty around me, as well.

 

These are some pages from my current sketchbook. They are not ‘great art,’ but each sketch takes me back to a moment, a day. There are birds and blooming trees and adorable children and interesting people to remember. Things that keep frustration at bay - even when a 3 month old lab puppy and new technology does their best to frustrate me. And maybe someday these sketchbooks will be held together with brown duct tape, and will bring all these moments and memories to life again.

 

Sketchbook Selfies

 

I completed a sketchbook today, and began a new one. My tradition is to both end and begin a sketchbook with a self portrait. It is my way of ‘checking in’ with myself, documenting what I am doing, the materials I’m interested in or trying out, and in many ways, how I’m feeling.

The sketch above is the last page in my sketchbook. The image is a memory of a day with my son, daughter-in-law, and 2 of my grandkids. We went through a large maze together. This sketch also includes me in my favorite black jacket; the one I wore in Paris, but now seem to have lost somewhere. As with most of my sketches these days, I do not strive for realism, but to capture a feeling. I used gouache and colored pencils for this sketch. The sketchbook was put on my studio shelf, joining 34 other filled sketchbooks (not including my travel sketchbooks.)

I was happy to be done with that sketchbook, and to start a new one, which is larger and has better paper. I recently got a set of oil pastels, and was anxious to try them out, so the selfie in the new sketchbook is an experiment with them. I wanted to see if I could blend them, and if other media (colored pencils, watercolor, gouache, marker) would work with them. As my daffodils are blooming, I stuck a few in my hand. Everything I tried with the pastels did what I wanted it to do. So I’m pretty happy to add them to my media cupboard! I have also found that I do enjoy working in a larger sketchbook, so I plan to have a lot of fun experimenting in this one! 

These selfies sometimes feel a bit ‘self indulgent,’ but, as I have also done a series of self portrait tapestries, one of the sketches may inspire a small tapestry. 

Living in the Chaos!

Murphy, 11 weeks old

Yes, living with an 11 week old yellow lab is chaotic, and that’s not going to change for a good while. Living in the US with leaders who are either certifiably crazy, or afraid of the ones that are crazy, has become pretty chaotic as well. I’ve been doing my best to not add to the chaos, even if I can’t escape it completely. 

It’s well documented that creativity helps us deal with stressful situations. So I’ve been trying to create, whether or not I feel creative. I have had a linen warp on my 4-harness loom for several years, with a plan to weave some old rug yarn into rugs. I finally did that! I did 2 simple twill rugs, not using up nearly enough of my stashed rug yarn. So yesterday I pulled out a couple of large containers from my yarn closet (this is where non-tapestry yarn is stored) and put together a dozen bags of knitting wool to take to my local ARC. More will be going soon!

A few recent pages from my sketchbook

I have been taking frequent walks through the neighborhood, as well as sketching. What I see on my walks often ends up in my sketchbook. Because of the National news, which is always bad these days, I am avoiding most online news and also social media, where everyone is in a constant (and understandable) state of dismay about the National disorder.

I did recently cut off a large tapestry so my Shannock studio loom is empty. I’m not sure what will come next with my weaving, but, in the meantime, I hope to do a bit of painting. The new tapestry is below, and it is titled “Letting Go.”

‘Letting Go’ 32x32”

 

A Bit Blah-Zee

I don’t know if you know the Larkins, of The Darling Buds of May, by H.E. Bates (also several TV series,) but Pop Larkin notes that Ma is ‘blah-zee’ and needs a break from things. Today, I feel definitely blahzee. 

We’ve had a pretty wild bit of time since the holidays. We went to Boston and back on the train shortly after New Years; we continue to witness the unraveling of our country under the new administration; we had about half the interior of our house and part of the exterior painted, which of course required total dismantling of all of the house; and we got an 8-week old yellow lab puppy.

Yes, he’s adorable, but he also can be a handful!

On top of all this stress, I completed weaving a tapestry that has been on my Shannock loom for a number of months. This morning, as I was feeling especially blahzee, I realized that this last thing, the completion of a long term creative project, is probably the main reason I am so low in energy and interest in things. I always feel this way after completing a large tapestry. It is a common thing for artists, and some compare it to ‘post partum blues.’

I have the tapestry trimmed, blocked, and am working on the lining. I want to do a bit of painting, sketching and designing now, but my studio is a total wreck, with piles of stuff from the house painting project in there, as it was a room not painted. And I’m just too blahzee to do anything about it today. Maybe tomorrow.

PS. I looked up the definition of ‘blasé’ which was what Pop was meaning, and it says to be blasé is to be apathetic to pleasure or excitement; to be world weary.

PS2: I am definitely world weary!

A time to share, and to refrain from sharing…

After the Open Studio Tour was over, we went for a short trip to Mt. Rushmore. I had never been there, though my husband had seen it several times. Seeing the monument was one of just a few things on my ‘bucket list.’  When I first saw the monument, I admit it brought tears to my eyes. I thought of what these great leaders would think of our political scene today, and how disappointed and perhaps disgusted they would be. But I also was in awe of the artistic feat - the finding and bringing out of these faces from the mountain. This sketch was done on site, standing and sketching with ink while holding my sketchbook. I decided to leave it as it, and not ‘fix it’ or add color.

I sketched this from a photo my husband had taken from the trail beneath the monument.

We also went to the Crazy Horse memorial, and I sketched it the same way, just standing and sketching it in ink. I did decide to add some color to it, though. I would love to see this memorial completed. We drove from Mt. Rushmore to Crazy Horse on the amazing Iron Mt. Road, and I would recommend that drive to anyone who goes there! It is an engineering wonder, and naturally beautiful, especially with the fall colors. The ‘pigtail’ bridges and tunnels with views of Mt. Rushmore are worth experiencing.

After a couple of days at Mt. Rushmore, we went to see Devil’s Tower. I did this sketch on site, including the color. As I sat in the shade and looked at it, more and more colors became evident to me. Though it is always pictured just in greys, it is actually very colorful! My husband was hiking around it as I sketched and he said all the colors come from various mosses and tiny plants growing in the cracks that go all the way up.

I always try to keep track of wildlife on our trips, though we were disappointed to not see the wild donkeys that are supposed to be somewhere near there. We did see a lot of antelope and deer ‘roaming and playing.’

On our way back home we stopped at Independence Rock in Wyoming. It is on the Oregon Trail, and was evidently a stopover for those on the trail, who would sign their names and the date on the large rock. Unfortunately, most of the names are unreadable, as they are covered now with moss and lichen. But it was a nice break as we drove through the never-ending state of Wyoming. The folks on the Oregon Trail probably thought that, as well.

Since the election results came out, I have been trying to stay away from the depressing news as much as possible. Fortunately, the people I follow on social media (IG) are mostly artists who feel as I do about kindness, generosity, and the importance of diversity and tolerance. So I am enjoying ‘coping’ along with them, and trying to be creative, anyway. Which is what artists do, and must do, in difficult times. I admit I’ve not been able to weave the ‘happy yellow’ piece on the loom this past week, but I’ve continued to sketch, and my sketches are beginning to be more colorful and less depressed. I hope you find ways to cope, as well, if you are, like many creative people, worried and anxious about our future.

Open Studios Tour: Dining Room

 

In the dining room I hung Autumn leaning pieces. This Calendar Series tapestry is ‘November.’ It was inspired by a full moon through the trees at our cabin.

Across from ‘November’ on the other side of a wall of windows is ‘March.’ 

Hanging over the coat closet is ‘Aspen Autumn,’ an early tapestry, but still one of my favorites. Next to it is ‘Prairie Polka’ from the Heritage Series.

The lighting in the dining room is difficult, with a wall of windows that have deep eaves over them. On this wall opposite from the windows is the Fall tapestry from the Seasons Series, the September tapestry from the Calendar Series and a tapestry on the right called ‘FALL/ don’t fall.’

 

The wall above the radiator has ‘The Duet.’

I have never had this many tapestries hung in my home at one time. It is a bit overwhelming, to be honest. Soon I will take most of them back down. And hopefully I will someday find the one whom each tapestry was created for. Could it be you?

Open Studio Tour: Living Room

 

 As you enter the front door, there are 3 tapestries in the entry way; the May tapestry from the Calendar Series, the ‘Tapestry Arch’ tapestry, and ‘Hope and Despair.’

Above the sofa are 3 more tapestries (I know! They just keep coming!) The large tapestry is the Summer tapestry from the Four Seasons series. It is ‘Tending Peace’ and includes a number of symbols for peace. The Calendar Series piece to the left is the April piece from that series. Below it is a small tapestry called ‘When She Could Fly.’

Over the living room fireplace and in the nearby corner are tapestries of our pets. ‘Yin/Yang’ is of our 2 cats, the August tapestry is of our dog Booker in the lake, and ‘Wooster’ is in the corner space.

In a somewhat poorly lit corner to the right of the fireplace hangs ‘Barbershop Buzz,’ a Heritage Series tapestry of my Grandfather’s barbershop, which was flattened in 1966 by a tornado.

On the other side of the front window, so also not lit well for photos, is ‘Lust for Life,’ one of several tapestries the were inspired by Van Gogh.